


Conversational Silence

by chlorineandcoffeestains (AdrenalineRevolver)



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Mental ward AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-17 12:37:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrenalineRevolver/pseuds/chlorineandcoffeestains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire is a reporter being checked into an Asylum called Les Mis, once there he meets a strange cast of characters and falls for one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Down the Rabbit Hole

I’m a reporter from a new paper full of young idealists, but that’s probably the least important part of this story. We recently received an anonymous tip about the conditions up on the hill. You know which hill I’m talking about. Les Mis, the asylum. To look into this my task was to be admitted, easiest part of my career so far, what I found there will stay with me for the rest of my life. This is what’s happening to the “precious children” you abandon there:  
Boy’s west wing is where they keep the simple stuff, basically if you’re not trying to kill people and you are able to take care of yourself that’s where you end up. West wing is also right near admissions. If you were to walk in accidentally and wind up in the patient section you would find kids with depression, some talking to themselves, and a few anorexics. Nothing different than your modern school. I was shown around by one of the interns. A bright kid by the name of Combeferre. The showers were communal, the cafeteria’s food was mediocre, and the TV room was full of kids either smoking or gambling. Again, like a school.  
“I’m not supposed to disclose any of this but it’s better for you to know it now. Your roommate's name is Courfeyrac. When he kisses you he doesn't mean anything by it. He can only go so long without some sort of sexual or physical contact. Last time they tried to break him of it in solitary he had a panic attack bad enough to needed to be put on oxygen. So don’t be too freaked out if he crawls into your bed or decided to cling to you. He’s a great friend to have otherwise.”  
He pointed to remarkably small boy with long hair pulled into a bun who was perched on the worn out couch as if it was no feat at all to watch TV from there. “That’s Jehan, he’s a sweetheart. Writes poetry, sings, sometimes you can catch him dancing. He was admitted when his mother found him trying on her make-up and diagnosed with GID. He’ll tell you that he know’s he’s male and doesn't mind it, he just likes feminine things. All in all he was perfectly sane until they tried to move his roommate into solitary. He stopped eating and wouldn't take a bite until the boy was moved back. His appetite has been worryingly small since then but hopefully that’s habit and not something else starting up.”  
“His roommate’s name is Montparnasse.” The boy in question was watching them intently. His messy black hair and threatening demeanor suggested someone much older than his rose red lips and bright eyes gave away. “Legally, I can’t tell you much about him but I’ll go ahead and say that you’re on his good side as long as you’re good to Jehan.”  
“That’s Mar-” I accidentally cut him off. “Who’s he?” Sitting in the window was an angel with a halo of gold is reading through a novel larger than anything I’d normally bother with. “That’s Enjolras. He was already admitted when I arrived and I haven’t been able to find his file. He won’t speak to you, he doesn't speak to anyone. I’ve gotten a smile out of him a few times but for the most part it’s like he’s just observing. He’s not catatonic and he’s not deaf. Just mute. I expected him not to want to be touched but he never pulls away from it. If he’s not particularly fond of it he just won’t respond. He plays violin for Jehan, allows Courf to practically sit in his lap, and the last time he found his way into the girl’s wing I found him and an anorexic eating chocolate they had stolen from the kitchen. I managed to talk them out of punishment for him, I think he figured that out too. Because the next day my paperwork was already filled out and there was a chocolate bar in my desk.”  
He caught me staring when he glanced over his book. “I think I’ll leave you to get settled.” Com gave a knowing smile and took my things to my room. “What’s your name?” Jehan asked him leaning backwards instead of hopping off the couch. “Grantaire.” The boy smiled. “Nice to meet you Grantaire. You've probably heard about us already.” He giggled and called to Combeferre down the hall. “Didn't he?” Jehan almost fell off his perch when Com jumped.  
I began to walk into the room when I felt someone’s arms wrap around me. “So you’re my new roomie?” His voice was completely casual even though the hug was far from what you would call friendly. “Aww his blush is adorable. I’m keeping you.” Enjolras, who had been observing the chaos, raised an eyebrow, I was honestly almost too caught up in him to respond. “Keep me?” Admitting that my voice cracked a little is something I’m only doing for the sake of the story. “Oh yes. Here let me introduce you to everyone officially.” He laced his fingers with mine. “That’s Marius, he’s not feeling well today.” The boy in question was staring at a blank wall wide-eyed. “I’ll introduce you when he’s not so down.” I nodded and followed the boy throughout the room being introduced to one person after another like a boyfriend being introduced to family.  
Finally it came to Enjolras. I've never felt more nervous about meeting someone. Silently he shook my hand. “Hi, as you've probably heard Courf mention a few hundred times my name’s Grantaire. But I’d rather you just call me R. Get it? Grantaire, Grand R? Yeah that’s lame. But still, nicknames stick so I just sign things R now. It’s less of a mouthful.” I didn't realize I still had ahold of his hand until I finished babbling. “Sorry.” He shook his head and smiled. I took it to mean that he didn't mind.  
“Courf! You’ll be late for your appointment.” Combeferre called as he looked up from his desk through his glasses. “I’ll leave you two to become acquainted.” Even though I was warned beforehand I wasn't quite prepared for the kiss on the cheek he gave me before running off and practically tackling Com.  
“So what are you reading?” Enjolras looked at me in confusion for a moment before putting a heavily written on bookmark in his current place and handed me the book. “The Best of Lewis Carroll? I had a crush on Alice as a kid. She was smart, curious, kind hearted. I found her temper hilarious too.” I would have stopped there but Enjolras’ gaze seemed to spur me on. “I probably would've argued with her all the time. Especially as a kid. The only thing is that she strikes me as such an optimist. I doubt she would hang around someone who would just be a downer. But if she did though I’d probably end up indulging her because that’s what you do when you love someone. You do things they like and vice versa. My only request is that I be a spectator for the caucus race. I could cheer her on a lot easier than I could run the damn thing.” As I prattled on about my childhood fantasies he all but stared. Occasionally he would nod or raise his eyebrows but for the most part he was still. It was unnerving, as well as intoxicating.  
It was like I was the most interesting thing in the universe. I’d given presentations, had papers published, and held conversations before but he put all of that to shame. By comparison it was like I had never been truly listened to before. After a brief moment of horror it felt amazing. “Most of these protests are just modern-day caucus races. If they actually get anything accomplished something else will just wash over them and make life horrible again. Life has always sucked. Always will. It’s a jip. I didn't sign on for this. Let alone the way they have it set up now. You’re born, you go to school, you get a job, you reproduce, and you die. The hell kind of freedom is that? “Oh the war is so awful” Yeah, so was the last one, and the next one. War never changes and neither do people. I’m sure there’s some trick to life somewhere. Some cheat to make it work. Make it something worth-wild. But I don’t think anyone’s found it yet and if they have they haven’t been kind enough to share with the class.” Damn this felt good.  
“So naturally I try to help people. If I don’t do something this little guilt voice in my brain eats at me until I’m tempted to throw myself under a bus. But then again I don’t want to cause a wreck. I wish I could just fade away. Become a ghost or something. Watch and maybe scare the shit out of some people who deserve it. I don’t want to make a mess or upset someone. But this living thing is killing me. It’s short, sad, messy, and painful.”  
The blonde gave him a look of worry. “ I won’t kill myself, I promise. Nope. I’m a total coward. I don’t want to die. I’m just tired of living. But you, I bet the moment you get out of here you go join the Peace Core or lead some sort of march for something.” He glanced at his shoes before shrugging and giving me a guilty smile.  
“You’re the type who’s convinced this ball of dirt and everything on it is redeemable. You also trust people don’t you? Someone gives you something that says drink me and you do. That would kill most people. But you've lived so far Alice. I doubt you can save us all. But you’re a better man than me for trying.” His mouth hung half-open when I finally ran out of words. Where the hell did all that come from.  
“Sorry, I just.” I just what? Bore my soul to someone in my first conversation with them? To my surprise he shook his head slowly and took out the folded bookmark. When he handed it to me I could barely read the borderline calligraphy. It was a speech. A full blown speech both very similar and vastly different from what I had said. It touched on many of the topics that I ranted about but they all seemed to take the opposite tone. He believed that the world is worth fighting for and that humans are flawed yet inherently amazing. His writing carried an oddly conflicting voice of a well-educated leader and the innocence of a child.  
“So it looks like my bets were right for once Alice.” I tried to hand it back to him but he shook his head. “Hoping you’ll inspire me then?” He smiled as I folded it and put it in my pocket. “I’ve got to admit Enjolras, I don’t understand why they don’t have you as the therapist I haven’t said things like that in...ever.” His demeanor portrayed the idea that he already knew everything about you so all it takes is for him to look at you and you feel the need to completely spill your guts.  
“Grantaire?” I jumped realizing that the world had melted away at some point. “Y-yes?” It was Combeferre. “Your bags are in your room. Care to have me show you there?” I nodded quickly and he began down the hall.  
“I think that’s a new record.” He said as he opened door for me.  
“A record? For what?”  
“That’s honestly the fastest I've ever seen someone fall in or out of the hospital.”  
“Oh but I’m not- We were just.”  
Combeferre smiled with only a hint of devilish intent. “I’ll call you when it’s time for dinner.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Asylum is set around the fifties and sixties hence the rough treatment.  
> Also: Courf isn't a nymphomaniac. You get a cookie if you can guess what it is. -S

Dinner was nothing special, after though was something completely new. Lights out by 10. Haven’t gone to sleep that early since I was a kid. As I tried to get comfortable I felt someone crawl into my bed.  
“Courfeyrac.” I warned.  
“Yes?” His reply was totally innocent. In retrospect I probably shouldn't have turned to face him. In the twin bed we were nose to nose instantly. He grinned when I didn't immediately throw him out.  
“You do know this is my bed right?”  
He kissed my nose and chirped. “Yep!”  
I sighed. “Are you going to be in it all night?” He was silent for a while.  
“Do you want me to leave?” His voice was much softer than before, it was as if the idea terrified him.  
“I-” I couldn't ask him to. Not when it did no real harm. “No, it’s fine.” He kissed me full on the lips in gratitude and curled up into me.  
“I knew you were a keeper.” I just laughed and moved to accommodate him. After a few moments his usual upbeat tone came back.  
“Do you like Enjolras?” My mind blanked. Simple answer: Yes. Correct answer: I think I’m falling for a guy in a mental hospital whose voice I've never even heard. “I like all of you.”  
Courf smirked. “I’m not stupid. You know what I mean. Promise I won’t tell.”  
I was literally and figuratively backed against the wall here. “Yes.”  
He made a high pitched noise and held me tighter. “Marius owes me!”  
“Wait you took a bet?”  
“And won!”  
Curiosity got the better of me. “What did you win?”  
He grinned. “Well you see, I used to room with him but he’s been feeling worse lately so he gets his own room.”  
“What did you win?” I repeated.  
“The right to sneak in his room and give him a blowjob.”  
What..? “Isn't that a win for him?”  
He shrugged. “He’s always afraid that a nurse or the voices will interrupt but he’s so much more relaxed after. I think it might help.” What do you even say in this situation. “Tell me if it works?”  
“I could show you...but you like someone. I keep forgetting things like that. I need to write it on my arm to not have sex with people in relationships. It’s what got me here in the first place.” I couldn't help but ask. “How so?”  
He sighed. “I got caught with my pants down with a teacher. By a teacher I had some fun with. She wasn't really inclined to join because it was with her husband. Which is weird because in theory they should like the idea, but I don’t know. They fought. I got reported. Talked to the school counselor, who sent me to a therapist, who sent me here. At first they put me in solitary to see if they could break me of my “addiction”. But I started shaking and couldn't breathe. It was awful. It took threatening to claw through my throat with the metal part of the bed to have someone come in. Even then Combeferre had been told not to. I was so happy to see him I tried to kiss him then and there but I blacked out. Next thing I remember was in the medical ward. He told me my things had been moved into here and kissed me on the forehead before I fell back asleep. Roomed in here ever since. But then Marius moved out and I was left alone again...” He trailed off quietly.  
“You’re not alone now.” I added. He smiled and buried his face in my chest. Surprisingly it was the best sleep I’d had in a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjolras makes a noise and I make shitty jokes about the Ami's sexualites. -S

I quickly fell into a routine. After waking up tangled in my roommate I would walk with him to the cafeteria. There we would sit with Jehan and Montparnasse. Mont usually strolled in late but I noticed that true to Com’s worries Jehan wouldn't touch his food unless the boy was there. Every other day we had group therapy sessions which normally consisted of all of us staring at each other until the doctor let us go. I liked him. He was different than most. You could tell right down to the way he spoke to us. His voice inflection never changed like he was coddling or talking down to us. He spoke to us as if he would a friend. His only policy was that you had to say something in the group, anything. How your week went. How breakfast was. He never brought up why the patient was there. It was fine to talk about it but he left it for private sessions if you wanted to. Enjolras was the only one that broke that rule. Instead of saying something he would be asked something. Today was no different.  
“Enjolras, have you gotten the chance to get to know our newest member any?” He used his pen to point at me.  
The blonde nodded.  
“He seems like a nice young man, I’m sure he’ll get along well here. Don’t you?”  
Enjolras added a smile to his nod.  
I couldn't help but wonder if under the guise of group participation if this was a way for the doctor to try and coax words from him without pressure. By asking simple yes or no questions Enjolras could respond but it left the option open for more. Sometimes I forgot that he didn't speak. His facial expressions and simple gestures spoke much more than most could achieve with words.  
Shortly after Dr. Valjean finished with the group I convinced myself to talk to Enjolras. To be honest I found that talking to him was easily as therapeutic as anything the doctors could think of.  
I started with Courfeyrac and how sharing a bed was surprisingly easy, he nodded. Then I mentioned my worries for Jehan, to which he frowned and had me continue. I explained the entire thing and his worried expression turned contemplative. Finally he pointed at Parnasse.  
“Tell him?”  
Enjolras nodded.  
“But-”  
He rolled his eyes and pointed a second time.  
“Fine, later. When he’s not with Jehan.”  
Enjolras raised an eyebrow.  
“I’ve totally seen them apart.”  
He laughed. Well, sort of. There was no sound but his shoulders moved as if he did.  
Finally the topic turned to me. For some reason he made me open up in ways I never had before. I talked about my art, fencing, boxing, dancing. I managed to cover all my interests before I got to the negatives. Usually these conversations start in reverse. I talked about my issues with depression which of course led to drinking. I talked about insecurities I didn’t even know I had. All the while he listened like it was the most fascinating story ever to be told.  
“And to top it all off I’m gay.”  
He raised his eyebrow again.  
“Shock I know.”  
He rolled his eyes and shook his head while gesturing around the room.  
“They can't all lean the same way. Someone here has to be straight.”  
He looked contemplative before pointing at Combeferre.  
“Oh? Well there goes prince charming.”  
He nodded enthusiastically before getting a piece of paper. “We’re already considered broken and strange by society. Why pretend to be something you’re not? Why not fall for someone who understands?”  
The wisest words I’d heard in a long time just came from a mute. “You’re brilliant you know that?”  
Now I’d heard of not being able to take a compliment but this was new. He turned a bright shade of red as if I had just dirty talked him and stared at his feet. Hands shaking he scribbled something on the paper before running back to his room. “I’m not.”  
Confused and more than a little guilty I folded the scrap paper and followed him. I knew there were rules and regulations about going into other patient’s rooms but to be honest I didn't care.  
Enjolras had his own room and when I creaked the door open it was obvious as to why. The entire room was one huge fire hazard, there were stacks of paper on every available surface. The only clean surface was currently taken up by the blonde. He wasn't crying but was hiding his face in the pillow as if he was about to.  
“I’m not going to apologize for telling the truth.” I whispered as I shut the door, locking it without thought.  
He jumped like a startled animal and stared at me, not sure if he should be terrified or not.  
I crawled onto the bed with him. “Enjolras, I’m not going to let you wave this off as a shallow complement. I mean it when I say you’re brilliant. You don’t need to accept it right now but you should know that I’ll keep repeating it until you believe me.”  
He smiled as tears collected in the corners of his eyes and I stopped him from wiping them away.  
“Crying is perfectly fine.”  
The words seemed to open a floodgate and he buried his face in my chest body shaking but not making a sound. I held him as he cried and tried not to enjoy the proximity given the situation. After a few minutes he looked up at me. Be damned if he didn't cry like a movie star. Tears would roll down his face and his cheeks would get pink but he was in no-way an ugly crier. Lucky bastard.  
“See? Perfectly fine.” I whispered as I tucked away a stray hair.  
Our eyes met for what seemed like an eternity. I can’t remember when staring turned to kissing but suddenly his lips were all over me. When I had enough time to catch my breath to be able to reciprocate I kissed away every salty tear I could find.  
We bucked, kissed, tongued, and bit into all of each other we could manage. Clothes long since forgotten, we couldn't get enough of each other. It was as if we would burn up and fade away if we weren't able to hold each other just a little closer.  
The world abandoned we gave ourselves over to pure need and I wrapped my hand around the both of us.With both my hand and our movements as friction neither of us were able to last long.  
It wasn't a sensation that sent me over the edge though. It was a sound.  
When the angel straddling me came he did so with a drawn out and breathy moan.  
It was almost inaudible but it was definitely there. That little noise sent me toppling into what was probably the best orgasm of my life.  
When the bliss wore off of us Enjolras stiffened and brought his hand to his mouth in what looked like shock. I was far too tired and sticky to say anything so I simply took the hand away, bringing it to my chest. We would worry about anything else in the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys goof off and I channel my creepiness through Combeferre.

When I was woken up the next day by a very flustered young nurse I didn’t hear a word they said. The only thing ringing in my ears was the echo of Enjolras’ voice. If there was any real magic in the world it was hidden in his voice. The little teasing bit that I was able to catch seemed far too ethereal and surreal to belong to any mere human. Male or female. Maybe I was just being romantic about it.  
“...Enjolras?”  
His response is silence. But not the kind I was quickly becoming accustomed to. It was a heavy silence that seemed to carry the world with it.  
“We don’t want to be late for breakfast.” I smile, I’m shocked when he returns it.

Enjolras seemed to carry the weight of the previous silence with him as he walked down the stark white halls, it worried me to no end. There was nothing I could really say. Anything I thought of was probably the same thing people said when they were writing off his feelings or offering fake comfort. As pathetic as it was all I could do was reach out and grab his hand.  
So that’s what I did.  
He froze for a moment, startled by the contact. I began to let go when he clutched it closer. “Enjolras?” He kept his eyes to the ground but smiled when I said his name. It was then when I decided that I would do anything to see that smile. I pulled his fingers to my lips and kissed them gently, hoping that I looked like a prince rather than a lunatic.  
Enjolras flushed a brilliant bright pink and his eyes quickly came up to mine.  
“You’re adorable.”  
He immediately frowned and shoved me. Blush still dancing across his cheeks as he did so.  
“Deny it all you want pretty boy.” I purposely ran into him to trip him up.  
We roughhoused in the hall until Courfeyrac found us. Oh shit. I’d totally forgotten.  
“Get a room you two!” He yelled before adding. “Well, not that you already haven’t”  
Enjolras’ pink quickly changed to red as he made a grab for Courf.

As Courfeyrac dodged the other’s attacks with surprising grace I felt like I had to ask. “Where you okay last night? I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”  
Enjolras paused for a moment and his eyes widened with the realization that we had ditched him.  
“I was fine!” He laughed.  
Enjolras cocked an eyebrow and I went on his suspicion. “Tell the truth.”  
His face fell a bit. “At first I was really worried. I thought you had been taken for shocks. Or something happened. I was afraid you weren't coming back...But! Combeferre told me to walk by Enjolras’ room for the answer to where you were! Boy did that answer it alright. He then let me sleep in Marius’ room so win-win huh?” He laughed nervously.  
“I’m not going anywhere. And if I ever do you’ll be one of the first to know. Got that?” Enjolras nodded quickly to show that it was the same for him.  
“Thanks. Sorry I’m so...you know...” He gestured around the hall. “crazy.”  
“Don’t call yourself crazy. It makes you lose your mind faster. That and others will call you that for you.”

He let out a short laugh and opened his mouth to say something when Combeferre came by.  
“Courf, go eat. I need to talk to you two.” I honestly didn’t think the man could physically get mad.  
“Do you want me to get fired?” He whispered venomously. “You must if you’re pulling this shit. If you two want to have sex that’s fine and dandy with me. Hell I’ll give you the condoms. But don’t do it where the nurses can find you! You both should know where to slink off to at this point. If not I’ll give you a map. Just please. Please. Don’t get caught again. I’m supposed to be in charge of you. It’s me they yell at.” He sighed. “The woman who found you took some real convincing to not sign you up for the same type of thing Jehan has to put up with.”  
Enjolras looked entirely apologetic. “It’s alright. Just be careful okay?”  
As if on cue Courfeyrac stook his head through the door to the cafeteria.  
“Go make sure he dosen’t destroy something.” I could easily hear the minor annoyance in his voice. Enjolras gave a sheepish grin and went to the curly haired eavesdropper. 

I thought I was free to go when suddenly there was a tight grip on my arm. Prior Combeferre had been ticked at worst. Now he looked downright menacing.  
“I know what you look like inside.”  
“Wha-”  
“I’ve assisted in surgery, shock therapy, lobotomy, prescribing medications. I still have free access to all of those.” He smiled when he saw that I was appropriately terrified.  
“You will not hurt Enjolras. Do you understand?”  
“Y-yes sir.”  
“Good...” His face then brightened and he was back to normal. “I’m glad you understand. Go on and catch up to those two. We’re having pancakes today!”  
The goosebumps that he had given me began to subside as he walked away.

I had gotten the 'be good to my daughter talk' as well as the 'I'll kick your ass if you hurt my sister talk' but this far surpassed them. I was genuinely afraid of what he would do. Logically I knew that he was too good a person to actually really hurt me. Or at least I hoped. It was only once the boot-quaking fear wore off that I realized how it actually just spoke more about how damn nice he was. He was really worried that I might break the blonde's heart. Combeferre knew little about me and I knew even less about Enjolras. He was letting Enjolras do what he wanted but was making sure that it was safe behind his back. The last thing that display was supposed to give me was probably the warm fuzzies but I had a stupid grin plastered on my face as I entered the cafeteria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((shits gon hit the fan soon))


End file.
